Memories of Grandpa (KDS)

Shiv had a very smiley and innocent face. His intelligence and soft conversation attracted and liked by everyone. He had a habit of speaking less but to the point. He was very good in art of drawing. He was a boy of determination and strong will-power and had respect for elders and love for friends. I had noticed his interest in reading religious and spiritual literature and a great love for all of us.

I have always seen him in calm and happy mood. Whenever he saw me, he always touches my feet and wish me. Shiv used to follow Indian traditions more so when he grew up. He could recite “Mantras” and “Prayers” and used to sing in family gatherings, especially after the hawans and pujas. His best verses were the following and he used to sing in Hindi and American slang too.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare!
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare!

His qualities and energy were also coming up in an improved form as he was growing up.

I would like to tell that when he was hardly 6 or 7 years old and went with us in some funfair etc., there used to be big crowd and to see some game or happening was difficult for him to watch or enjoy fully. At one place, I tried to go along with him to help in making room for him among the other kids to watch closely, but his grand ma stopped me and asked shiv to go alone. We were happy to see that while talking some time to them, he made the other laugh and made a comfortable place among them. His grandmother used to feel very happy and proud to see him talking with other American boys. From his childhood he was a very soft and sweet in conversation with others. This good quality was also later on appreciated by his college friends too.

He was very good in art of drawing sceneries. Pictures made by him were beautiful and liked by everyone. Once on my birthday, he presented a picture of me and his grandmother in a dancing posture in January 2007 perhaps to make me happy as his grandmother already left for the heaven in December 2006 and I was in a very grieve mood. This drawing is still posted on the mirror in my room which keeps me reminding of him and his grandmother.

This year before going to college I advised him on few things, first to be very careful while driving and another not to be indulge in any type of arguments with others which causes unpleasant moments and always avoid bad company, which he listened very carefully and assured me to follow these advises accordingly.

On the second advice not to indulge in any unnecessary argument, he told me Baba you mean not to take “Panga” with others. I was surprised to have this Hindi word “Panga”. I asked him from where he learned this word. Anyhow people say man proposes and God disposes. God has called him at such a young age. He now abodes with the almighty. Man is helpless here.

Shiv had a strong will-power and a boy of self-determination. With these great virtues, he could reduce 140 lbs of weight with in a very short time after joining college. To restrain the temptation of consuming junk food at this young age wisely is very difficult without the firm determination. Most of his colleagues became his fan and asked him the tips to reduce weight so quickly. Not only this, they used to ask him the secret of him always having a happy and smiling face.
Shiv had always respected the elders/visitors at our house, by touching their feet and got their blessings. Last time when he came from college, he used to do his work himself like washing his clothes, cleaning his room etc. and always eager to help me.

I am writing this to my relatives in India, who are not familiar with the word Funeral Home. Funeral Homes are the places for the last viewing of the deceased and to pay regards and do prayers so the deceased can rest in peace in abode place. The body is kept there for “Darshan” and people shower flowers. People who desire to express or share their feelings gathers on this day. Besides some of our relatives, more than 80 students from his school, college, and neighborhood came to express their feelings for Shiv. He was so loved that they could not control their emotions and tears rolled out from their eyes. Such was the love of all for him.

I took part of his graduation ceremony in 2014. The ceremony was held in a nearby college where all student and their friends and families gathered. The name of each student was called by the authorities to wish for a successful college life. When I saw Shiv on the stage I was such a pleasant moment, my eyes brimmed with tears.
I could notice a great awareness in him about religious and spiritual literature. Knowing his interest, I used to give him whatever literature I found suitable for him mostly published by “Vishwa Hindu Parishad of America”.
Before going to the college a party was organized for his achievements. Going to college and living there without family member was a new experience for him and he was very excited. He met all with a big smile as usual. Danced with his friends on Hindi/Punjabi music.

When my granddaughter Shubhangi (Sangeeta’s daughter) got engaged, Shiv was with us for winter vacations. He met each and every person and chatted with them in the party. This was the first time all had seen him after losing more than 140 pounds. Everyone was so amazed and congratulated and wished him good luck on his achievement.
Shubhangi’s coworker and dentist came who were introduced to Shiv. They all had little conversation. I remember one of the dentist because she came to visit us after the funeral and she told us that Shiv came in her dreams and was wearing white clothes and he was telling her to convey the message to his family members/to us that they should not worry about him as he is in a better place.

People who knew Shiv expressed their sorrow in words some of them are still ringing in my mind. I wish he would be here with us to fulfil his dreams that he always talked about.
People who know Shiv, expressed their sorrow in words. One of his friends message about Shiv is ringing in my ears and mind which I am quoting here. One of his friends “Casey Favor” has written:

Last night I lost one of my best friends to a car accident……….
…..They say you’re in a better place and I would be too is I could see your face.”

If you read the last line of the message which expresses her deep feeling. See the instance of her love and affection in which she wishes to see Shiv. Such a touching feelings, cannot be forgotten by me
The demises of two promising young boys of our family broken me totally. I am not able to control my thoughts, though I am trying to control through remembering “ GEETA” versus. I give below the English version of the two texts (shlokas) from the Bhagavad GEETA as it is written by His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda, Founder Ācārya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness.

“As a person puts on new garments, giving up old ones, the soul similarly accepts new material bodies, giving up the old and useless ones.” GEETA 2.22

“The soul can never be cut to pieces by any weapon, nor burned by fire, nor moistened by water, nor withered by the wind.” GEETA 2.23

“This individual soul is unbreakable and insoluble, and can be neither burned nor dried. He is everlasting, present everywhere, unchangeable, immovable and eternally the same.” Geeta 2.24

“It is said that the soul is invisible, inconceivable and immutable. Knowing this, you should not grieve for the body. Geeta 2.25

“One who has taken his birth is sure to die, and after death one is sure to take birth again. Therefore, in the unavoidable discharge of your duty, you should not lament. Geeta 2.27

Lord Krishna explains that one should not grieve for the dead as the soul is eternal and will take rebirth. therefore, very difficult to live with what we learn from GEETA, most difficult is to be detached from Maya and attach to the Divine. Very difficult, rather impossible to adopt the “Gyaan”/knowledge at a time of such personal loss.

It is very difficult for anybody to keep aloof from “Moh” and “Maya”. Anyway, my daughter-in-law, Sapna, who is also undergoing such a deplorable condition also tried to give me consolation by tweeting me as follows “Those who left us, we should not cry for them. We should think what they gave us and how they lived. Shiv left us at this early age but he made us so proud. His memories will always bring back the smiles. We should see his smiling face, his achievements, his influence, his detemination, his friendliness, his love to his family and others. We as parents and grandparents are blesses to have a son like Shiv. We must have done some good that he was born in our family“.

I am thankful to God and also very thankful to the most favorite Goddess of my mother, father and my wife — “MA Bhagwati-Bhawani – Durga”. Due to her blessings and the blessings of all the three mentioned above, I am well off and opulent. All Mighty God has given my birth is a pious, religious, spiritual and holy family. I am also thankful to goddess “Tulsa” Devi, the consort of Lord Krishna, who blessed me with a virtuous wife, sons and daughters, who care and are looking after me well and take care of everybody who came under their contact. This is a great gift to me by Maa Durga.

As I have a comfortable life under the supervision of my beloved family, I pray to God to provide me strength to bear grief and pain which is also given by the God/Maa Durga. Her kindness and punishments both should be acceptable.
May God give us strength to bear this loss!

*******OM SHANTI SHANTI OM*******

Letter from Bua (Sunita Kaushik)

Memories of Saurabh Bhaiya (Cousin)

Dearest Mami,

I was only 18 years of age when you first became a parent. The young boy Shiv came in our lives and we all celebrated on your subsequent visit with days of one event after other full of Indian ceremonies and revelry.

The distance never allowed to see him grow every year and care for him in person but you brought him and Sidhant as many times to India as you could.

I can’t forget that beautiful million dollar innocent and pure smile he always had on his face, mischievous spark in his eyes and sweetest of Hindi accent.

We were all pained when his hand suffered burns in the hot tea accident. I remember you and mama taking care of his bandages in following visit to India but even with those severe burns for a small boy he was very tough. He was very naughty in his second visit and you kept telling you people were also like this. It was lot of fun with him and little Sidhant.

It was only little later during summer vacation visits that I realized that how intelligent and confident young Shiv had become. In many ways he reminded me of myself as a chatter box but he was much more smarter and intelligent of-course. I use to nag him a lot in my typical Indian cousin ways to push him for outdoor activities, walk and fitness ways away from his computer screen love. This he surely never liked as that was not the American way. But I wouldn’t mind my business and kept pushing him, Soumya and Sidhant. Every-time I had the opportunity I would lecture them to work on a better physical fitness levels.

Even then I remember telling him that he can become a very good lawyer as he had natural skills of argument. Then he never showed interest in becoming a lawyer and true to his skills argued against becoming a lawyer and explained how he will be an animation developer or something in computer profession.

In his last summer vacation visit to India he showed me video of his friends rowing for fitness and I nagged him by telling him how his friends were so much more fit then him. I challenged him to make abdominal muscles and he very sportingly picked the dare. Little did I knew that he was seriously planning to pursue fitness very seriously as he had the rare ability to achieve what he wanted.

Time passed by and like all of us he was in his ‘leave me alone’ teenage independence phase. I was always very proud of his super confident and can do anything attitude. On my visit to US l was also pleased to see him working hard on his fitness and was happy to know that he has now shown interest in pursuing legal profession. I was 36 and he was 18 a generation’s gap but everything appeared as it should be he becoming tall, healthy, fit young man with promising legal career goals. I felt very proud of you and mama that Shiv has become what we all always wanted for him.

In your last visit to India how mama and we debated about who and how he will marry….Whether he will pursue a political career….

His memories surround us now. I am not a strong person, I have never been. What has happened to us is not fair!

I have no words to console the life time sorrow we will live with. We all are fading towards our inevitable ends but Shiv will for always be young, fearless and independent.
Deep inside I know there is nothing I can say or write that can make things less painful but as per your message mami we have to be strong and carry on with Shiv’s memories and persona as our strength. Please take care of all at home because you are the strongest.
“Dearest Shiv, How I wish you were still here along to help accomplish this walk of life. My tears will learn to restrain but memories will remain and you will be remembered always.”

Saurabh Bhaia

Letter from Vaibhav mama
My last words to dear shiv,

Dear Shiv ,
I have met you only once when ur birthday was being celebrated by didi and Jijaji .. I remember you were roaming here and there and in your own style drink the whole glass of coke in a shot.. And off course you were very chubby and cute at that time .. Thereafter I knew that I have a nephew in America and sometimes I would found you in Sapna didi’s post…now after this unfortunate incident .. I am actually feeling that I have lost a very energetic , lovely and cheerful nephew.. Your smile and positive energy on all your photos is really amazing .. And tells that you used to enlighten any person around you to a cheerful mode.. Everytime I see your photo on the group I feel a small vacuum in my heart and a place in my heart would be always dedicated for you.. The truth , fate and reality show us the unexpected.. And make us accept what is unacceptable.. From the core of heart I pray eternal peace and serenity to your soul.. Goodbye !! Rest in Peace..